Tag Archives: sexism

Of Ducks and Drakes: Male Violence Across Species

Mothers Day, several years ago, I went with a friend to feed the ducks (and possibly nutria) at a local park. It was supposed to be a pleasant excursion to take my friend’s mind off of troubles with her own kids and to see some animals. It ended up being a sad and clarifying outing.

The nutria did not come out which was unfortunate as they’re really incredible creatures to interact with. We were flooded with ducks and geese grabbing our treats. After we ran out of goodies for the birds we sat talking and let everyone get back to their routines. It didn’t take long before we witnessed a horrific scene on the water of several drakes gang-raping a duck, her screaming out in pain and fear. We shouted at them and threw rocks into the water in the hopes of scaring them off but could only do so much to frighten them. They did let up soon after they were interrupted by us but it was too late, she was already hurt and violated.

The drakes swam off, we went back to our spot, reeling from what we’d just witnessed. The duck climbed onto land and waddled over near to us and began letting out the most incredibly heartbreaking, defeated cries. We chased off any drakes that came onto land to bother her. When they’d get near she’d scream and get close to us. We were there for awhile and her cries got further apart but every single one of them still deeply unsettled us. Thankfully my friend is a radical feminist so we could be honest with one another about the horror we’d just witnessed this poor duck go through but what could we do for her? She was wild and when we got too close she’d get scared as well. We had to leave her eventually with sorrow for the inevitability of her continued violation by the drakes she couldn’t escape. I left with perspective on the female condition.

A lot of feminists and progressive types ignore the fact that male violence is a cross-species experience. They blame masculine gender socialization in humans for the high rates of men’s sexual violence and general violent tendencies as a sex. There is no doubt that humans have the capacity for deep thought, reflection and the ability to make moral choices and that masculine gender socialization encourages men to embrace a very destructive way of being. Getting the message from birth that you are superior and entitled to female labor in all of its forms doesn’t help sway men away from treating women like garbage but why do so many forget that this particular destructive and violent way of being is overwhelmingly male? Outside of male contact, these ideas seldom come into female minds at all.

My only guesses are that it is so difficult to live with the knowledge that men don’t commit the acts they do because they’re ignorant about consent or masculinity. They do these things because it is a part of their nature. It is a drive they possess deep in their cells. Women suffer because man’s will has always taken precedence over our own. It may be comforting to think that through social engineering we can achieve an end to the male violence that permeates every part of our world but it is delusional thinking. It requires ignoring what females across many species are facing. No one socialized the drakes I witnessed that day into raping the duck and yet they did.

Philosophy, ethics, social reforms and advocating that our fellow human beings embrace enlightened values are excellent uses of time and there is a pressing need for them but they will not stop rape or man’s manipulation of force. This means that if we want to do something about the massive rate of male violence we will have to create a vastly different social order. We will have to become stronger, smarter and take responsibility for the direction of the species. I do sometimes wonder if women are capable of this. Many are so helplessly stuck that they’ll confuse what I’m talking about in this post with gender essentialism/biological determinism or some nonsense like that.

Understanding that male violence is an innate problem with male creatures is not the same as believing men are destined to rule over women. Instead, it makes plain the need for women to dominate human society for everyone’s benefit. It calls on us to be strict, firm and heavy-handed. How much of women’s unwillingness to face the truth of why men rape has to do with many women’s attachment to femininity? I’m reminded of the famous line by Dworkin in her speech ‘I want a twenty-four hour truce during which there is no rape’ – “Have you ever wondered why we are not just in armed combat against you? It’s not because there’s a shortage of kitchen knives in this country. It is because we believe in your humanity, against all the evidence.”

Let’s go further than she did. Let’s stop believing in that which there is no evidence for. Let’s analyze the data.


Feminist Archetype – The Spinster

The Demonic Feminine

When I first read Engel’s “The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State” I had this flash of insight telling me that the whole story of Eve really was a metaphor for the fact that women were the ones who invented agriculture, through our wisdom of the manipulation of nature women created the conditions which led to their own enslavement. Now I don’t really know if this is true, it was just a thought that popped into my mind that I held for awhile but its a good place to start. Patriarchal mythology is full of metaphor and lessons that are especially geared toward controlling the minds of women. If you control the mind of a person you train them to stop themselves before you ever have to get involved, its proved to be a fool-proof system for the most part. Eve is the perfect female, dumb but easily controlled, a willing vessel for the seed of Adam. A willing dupe for him and the Abrahamic God to play their misogynistic games out on.

Women’s so-called “spirituality” is full of references to the “divine feminine”. This will conjure up all kinds of images in the mind of those who hear it and I don’t claim to speak for all of them but when I hear it I think of a sanitized patriarchal style goddess archetype who fits perfectly in the web of things as a counterpart to the male patriarchal god archetype, where he is active she is passive, where he is light she is dark, where he is thoughtful she is emotional etc. Now knowing, understanding and being able to look deep within these archetypes can be important knowledge, can be illuminating, can even help people, but it is important to think critically and examine our emotions relative to everything we come across. Who do these “feminine” archetypes really serve?
What is “feminine” anyway?

Most new-age types will say that we all carry within us male and female energy when these concepts are criticized for their sexism/essentialism but I am going to say it right now : there is no female that has male energy and there is no male that has female energy. We are completely different beings. This is why female-only spaces are critical to the development of a true feminist consciousness. This is why women know when a male has entered a space, even if he masquerades as a female. There is no substitute for real femaleness.

The idea that feminine energy is passive, nurturing, accepting, allowing and intuitive while male energy is active, individualistic, antagonistic and resistant is spiritually castrating to women. When a woman views her action, her power, her dynamism as a “male” archetype within her, she on some level is denying her own power, potential, and ultimately ability to break free from the male supremacist matrix she’s been born into. After all, the patriarch is living within her. This is a dead-end for feminists looking to reclaim their spirituality.

So lets talk about the demonic feminine. She is a full entity unto herself. She will not submit. She takes what she wants. She is an actor in the world around her. She does not accept that there are things she cannot change. She strives daily to be her most perfect self through discipline and desire, never through performing for or pleasing others. She seeks revenge for the ways in which she has been wronged. She does not follow male rules yet she is 100% female. Now this is an empowering, feminist archetype. I talked about Lilith in my last post and I want to bring her up again. She is a very important figure for feminists to collaborate with. She represents all these things, especially the courage to go into the unknown, to be on one’s own path. Every time women tell a man-hating joke the demonic feminine is there. Every time a woman refuses to smile in deference to a man she is there. When women eat cake, when they let their body hair grow free, when they deliberately create something new, when they refuse to mutilate their faces to look young, when they ignore male rules and standards, when they fight back, when they win, she is within them.

Lilith isn’t the only example of what I call “the demonic feminine” but she is one many westerners will already have a little bit of familiarity with. Always a good place to start. There are many terrifying dark goddess figures from every land and culture that represent the same thing, women’s mastery and power over life and death, our ability to survive and seek revenge for men’s brutality and rapism. As Mary Daly said “The divine patriarch castrate’s women as long as he is allowed to live on in the human imagination.” I will take this a step further and say that adopting a feminized version of the same values, morality and ultimately connection to the divine does exactly the same thing.

If you are going to be a feminist you will be hated so you may as well be the biggest, loudest most aggressive feminist you can be.
If you are going to be a witch you will be hated so you may as well be the darkest, most fearful and fearless one you can be.


Madonna, eat your heart out.

Its Hard Out Here For a Witch

Witches are everywhere but like most non-conforming women they are invisible to the general public.

Much like being a lesbian, any woman can be a witch, its a choice one makes to stand against patriarchal spirituality, rules and expectations of woman as docile recipient of whatever men want from her. Witches bypass this expectation that women are to be passive in our experiences, and like men, choose to make their own realities. Choose to be creators, choose to use the laws of nature for their own purposes. Now just because any woman CAN be a witch, doesn’t mean that every woman will be a witch or is willing to do what is necessary to cut herself off from her conditioning. But we must remember that the choice is always available for those select women who desire it.

Witches choose to see that which we are supposedly not supposed to, that which isn’t there. They have a direct connection to the world around them, to nature, to the divine. It is easy then to see how radical feminism is a form of witchcraft. It requires unfixing the eyes, delving into the subconscious and extracting the patriarchal attachments that have wormed their ways into our spiritual and emotional bodies. I’m sure many women have experienced the feeling of being sucked into an alternate dimension when they read Griffin or Daly. Thats what the work is meant to do. Its meant to act as a portal to that dimension where we can replenish our damaged souls and find our strength and power to act in brave ways. Like we are meant to.

There is a reason why witches are persecuted. Magick works. It obtains results. Now we can debate why that is but the fact is that anyone who has spent any time in the practice will know this. They will also know that every human being practices magick, most are just unaware that is what they are doing.

I feel called to write about this today because it’s October, Halloween season and I want to write about “spooky” subjects because its my other passion, but also I want the women who read my blog, or come across it to understand just how deep men’s war against women goes. Its on every level. Men have not forgotten how to practice magick. Its partially why they obtain things so much easier than us. I don’t mean they’re out there every week casting a spell, although some do, it isn’t necessary to practice what I refer to as magick. They don’t go through the conditioning women do that puts us in an oppressed mindset. From an oppressed mindset it is very difficult to do much more than be a cog in the MANchine. From a powerful, elementally connected, infinite mindset its pretty easy to see yourself doing anything you want. Now we can’t have women standing in their own power, truth and actually enjoying their lives can we? They might decide they don’t want to be disposable rape objects, baby factories, cheap labor and domestic servants.

So men have waged spiritual war against us. Literally crippling our spirits before we are even born. They have created disturbing death cults that DICKtate how we are to obtain salvation for our inherent wickedness by being good servants to them and seeing their faces as the face of god. These BS (belief systems) tell women to accept our unhappiness, to swallow our own bitterness, literally making us physically ill. Its no wonder so many women can’t sleep at night for the physical pain and worry that eats them alive. They tell us not to practice magick, that they should not suffer those women who step outside and do it anyway amongst the community.

They have also waged physical war against witches. I don’t want to get too far into it here as its a topic that deserves far more attention than I can give now – but the European witch burnings were done on purpose, to put women in an even more subservient place than they were before. People don’t talk about the real history of Europe prior to the witch burnings. Women’s place was not in the home prior to that. Women owned businesses, properties, had jobs, were a vital part of the life of their communities. After this time period, men became the shop owners, it was considered unladylike to be out of the home engaging in business. Men took over traditional women’s roles like midwifery and healthcare. The burning times were a direct genocide on women as a caste, which men won and we are still dealing with the reverberations of today. Lets be clear – hardly any of the murdered women were witches. The witch is the scapegoat of womanity. Her spirit exists in all of us, waiting to be set free. Waiting like Lilith to seek her revenge on the sons of Adam who have knocked her down from her place in the garden of Eden.

Tattoos as Self Mutilation Revisited

So its been a few months since I first wrote about this topic.  Earlier this week I had more tattoos done.  One of them is even a feminist-themed one.  I definitely will be getting more and am planning out my next one which is gonna be really cool.  The only thing is, getting tattoos, means thinking about them.  Means talking about them with others.  I also tend to go on netflix binges and lately I’ve been watching “LA ink” which deals with a tattoo shop owned by Kat Von D in Los Angeles.  I’ve been amazed watching just how often people’s tattoo ideas are directly related to traumatic events they’ve been through.  Near death experiences, loss of their loved ones, surviving an illness.  With all this blowing around in the caverns of my mind I thought I’d expand on what I talked about last time I blogged on this subject.

I briefly touched on the relation of tattooing to other forms of self-mutilation engaged in by women.  Its a serious issue.  We all know at least one woman whose cut the shit out of herself in order to deal with her own traumatized psyche.  For many women tattooing and body modifications are a way of dealing with the trauma they’ve gone though.  I’m not immune to this and its in the forefront of my mind as a survivor of multiple traumas who also wants a lot of tattoos.  An interesting fact I’ve come across as well is that women are more likely to get tattooed than men.  This isn’t surprising for a number of reasons.  For one, women are used to being fully conscious of their bodies every single day, its only natural a woman would then think about and want to decorate her skin.  For another, women are a lot better at handling pain than men are.  We’re just superior in that way (among many others)  Lastly, as women, and as women who are survivors we’re pretty used to having our reality denied.  We’re gaslighted about our own experiences daily.  We aren’t believed when we talk about what happens to us.  Women just aren’t considered credible.  But tattoos, like all of our experiences are fucking real.  This isn’t something that can be denied or put away.  Its there, for everyone to see.  Like the scars of self-mutilation people might look away or disapprove but they can’t be denied.  They’re there.  Its a comfort thing a woman can look at throughout her life.  Not at all an ideal situation but we make the best with what we have in the here and now.

Now I’m going to jump to something else.  When I wrote about this last I got a lot of feedback from other feminists with tattoos who told me of awful experiences they’ve had with men verbally and even physically attacking them because of their body modifications.  When I was around 20 years old, working in a shop one of the customers who was a middle aged man got up in my face questioning me about my nostril piercing (which I’ve had since I was 15).  I was really confused and thought he was genuinely interested in why I wanted the piercing.  I mean I always wanted it.  Ever since I first saw it.  I remember being 4 years old and imagining what I would look like in the future and there was a nostril piercing in that mental image (as well as tattoos).  He wasn’t actually interested in that though.  He just wanted to abuse me for being stupid enough to think I had a right to do whatever I wanted with my body and thankfully a woman who I worked with that was a few years older than me came over to rescue me from the very rude man who felt entitled enough to wear sweatpants in public and question how other people look.   Nothing like that has happened to me with the tattoos yet and thankfully I’m a bit older and can pretty much defend myself from any dickhead man with a stupid opinion.  I do understand now better though what the problem is with men who have a problem with tattooed women.  My friend commented on previous post that tattoos are an affront to the purity which many men fetishize in women.  A woman who has chosen to tattoo her skin has made a very clear statement, whether conscious or not, that she ultimately sees herself as the one who owns her body.  A lot of men have a problem with that.  They don’t like being reminded that we are autonomous beings with hopes, dreams and ideas that exist out of our functional use to them and their dicks.  

This came to mind recently because my friend was staying at my house for a week and part of our entertainment was her reading the MRA screeds found on manboobz.  Several times these dudes brought up the term “tattooed” in regards to how vile modern women are.  It kind of took me aback at first but then the wheels started spinning.  Obviously professional misogynists would have a problem with women who tattoo their skin.  There’s something positive to tattoos if we can disgust MRAs with our impurity and obvious individuality.  

The flipside of this all is, a lot of men fetishize women with tattoos.  A la “suicide girls” and other “alternative porn” outlets.  Sadly for women living in a patriarchal world, there’s no escape from having men project their own ideas and desires onto us.

Being Disagreeable is the Worst Thing a Woman Can Do

The other day on twitter a woman I follow shared the resolution the New Turns Feminism Conference passed to no-platform feminist writer and activist Julie Bindel.  In the resolution she was referred to as “vile”.  Now this is immediately not a professional or appropriate way to refer to a woman, regardless of how you feel about her.  It smacks of personal bias and not a legitimate excuse for no-platforming someone.  The same woman looked up the definition of vile and shared with us that one of the definitions for it was “disagreeable”.  How interesting!

Because yes, she is disagreeable to quite a few persons out there.  But being disagreeable is what feminism is about.  A disagreeable woman is a good thing.  That is unless of course you believe that it is a woman’s job to be agreeable.  This my dear readers is what I’d like to tackle today.

Third wave feminism/modern liberal feminism today has taken up the platform of promoting transgenderism.  It is considered to be the height of feminist activism.  Male transgenders are regularly given speaking arrangements, book deals and generally sought out as the go-to experts on feminism.  Julie Bindel was no-platformed because she takes a critical stance on the medical practice of transgenderism and follows the “old school” feminist understanding of gender being a social construct.  A harmful social construct which was created to designate women as inferior and subservient to men.  Because she takes this approach she is “disagreeable” and thus not welcome in any debate or discussion.

On my last post a woman in the comments section brought up that a good deal of the anger women receive for being against gender is that we are violating the gendered belief that women exist to have what she calls practical use.  Because Radical Feminists do not fulfill the male fantasy of woman as compassionately accommodating to every whim we are thus “vile” aka disagreeable.  This is why we consistently hear the charge of biological males making “better women than us”.  Of course.  Because in the misogynistic male imagination if a woman is not justifying her existence through being useful and accommodating to every male whim we aren’t actually women.  We’re an aberration.  We are wrong and need to be punished or just admit that we’re actually men or some such sexist shit.

There is no such thing as a man understanding what it feels like to be a woman.  It is the utmost of presumption.  What they are doing is projecting their beliefs about what being a woman is onto our entire sex.  When we do that which disrupts the fantasy.  Like say not being “compassionate” enough or not going along with anything without question we become “vile” and therefore silenced.

Modern liberal feminist projects like the New Turns Feminism Conference are participating in the silencing/punishing of women who do not conform to properly gendered behavior.  The feminist community really needs to have a big think about where all of this GGG agreeable stockholmed girlfriend shit is taking us because this certainly isn’t the feminism our foremothers fought for or most of us even signed up for.

Paris Lees – Another Male Perspective on Prostitution

I had the displeasure of coming across this piece by one Paris Lees who writes regularly for VICE.  Paris’ articles are generally the type of porn-brain addled lazy liberalism that passes for a radical critique in modern times.  His work is meant as propaganda and this piece is no different.  “Dear Slut-Shaming Haters, I Don’t Really Need an Excuse to Suck Dick“.  The title says it all.  Already the strawwoman has been built.  Ready to be teared down.  It reminded me of a piece he wrote recently on how he paid his way through uni by selling sex acts, all written in pornographic detail and his piece on “common slags in British politics“.  It is not hard to see reading these pieces that these are not written from a female perspective.  That the perspective on prostitution and how fun it is to have sex with random strangers and get “bonus money” for it is a distinctly dick-worshipping gay male perspective.  Not one any woman, no matter how much she “loves sex” adheres to.  This work is meant to titillate and have everyone with a mild libertarian streak (uh pretty much all westerners) nodding their head in bemused agreement.  Give the readers a little sexy racy fun and then hit them with some stats about how poor everyone is.  Look a man likes to have meaningless sex with strangers for money!  A man thinks prostitution is good fun for everyone involved!

I guess his previous post about selling sex acts, despite it’s porny references to men’s ejaculation wasn’t sex positive enough.  It probably gave people the impression that its kind of sad so many young people (and let’s remember the majority of these “people” are WOMEN, and not pretend ones either) are having to sell sex acts in order to get by, get ahead because there’s no real jobs available to them.  He doesn’t want us to have the impression that this isn’t a fun thing though.  Hence this follow up post.

What I found interesting on coming upon it was obviously the title.  Those people calling themselves “sex positive feminists” have a very clear and sickening agenda.  They want to portray prostitution, despite all evidence to the contrary as a liberating and empowering lifestyle choice that needs to be respected.  Now what we all can agree on is that people who are hateful towards, stigmatize and abuse prostituted women are scumbags and that in general we all should make every effort to be kind to the women stuck in this way of life, which any survivor will tell you is utterly horrible.  Whats being expected is not kindness or respect, its validation and participation in the normalization of what for the majority of women stuck in prostitution, is abuse.

These are his feelings about it: “As for men telling me not to “use that as an excuse for sucking cock” or to “justify being a hooker”, come on now. I don’t need an excuse. Just drop trou and I’m on it. I no more need to “justify” myself than bin collectors do.”

Because for Lees, like many other gay men.  Anytime you can get a bit of cock is a celebration.  Is this a female perspective?  Why is the perspective of a gay dude that likes having lots of random sex being put out there as if it were the female perspective at all?  This is consistently the case with most sex worker activist groups.  These gay men who would be fucking tons of random men regardless of whether or not they were paid for it are put forward as THE VOICE of the prostituted class.

The other thing that really got to me with this article was his bit about feeling shamed.  Not being shamed.  Because any feminist whose been accused of “slut shaming sex workers” knows the accusation is as baseless as anything else they come out with.  Now we must all curb our concern for those who are prostituted because they may FEEL shame.  “Concern or disapproval never helped me; never made my life better. It just annoyed me and made me feel like I was being judged.”  This says it all.  Shame is not something anyone can do to you.  Shame is an emotion one does to the self.  Humiliation is what others do to us.  Shame is the feeling we carry within.  Deep down anyone who feels shame, feels it because they know on some level what they have done is not in line with what they want.  This is one of the myriad of reasons why “slut shaming” as a concept is void.

We must remember that with men like Lees, boundaries are nonexistent.  Not only do they have no boundaries for what they will accept in their own lives.  It is VIOLATION to them for people to not see the world in the same way they do.  To not actively validate his beliefs is tantamount to violating his very boundaries.

He uses this opportunity then to launch into an attack on Julie Bindel, who he slanders as a “concern troll” who opposes “just about anyone doing just about anything with their own bodies”.  This is the typical tactic they have to do.  Portray someone like Bindel, when there are literally thousands out there appalled by Amnesty International’s recent behavior as a fuddy duddy whose really just “trolling”.  Because being concerned with the violation of human rights of the prostituted class is “trolling”.  You see Lees, who sees no problem with letting men on the train touch his fake tits and sucking the dicks of random strangers is really the sort of person who can understand where a woman involuntarily involved in prostitution is coming from.  Who is the real troll?

We’re then left with the kind of lazy outdated libertarian analysis about how its “wrong to ban prostitution” without acknowledgement of the fact that women like Bindel, like myself, like countless others support the Nordic Model for dealing with prostitution.  The public is kept ignorant of the fact that legalizing prostitution has done nothing but increase sex trafficking to legal markets, created larger black markets because of the amount of criminals, oh sorry I mean clients, seeking the kind of sex they want how they want it.  Which is hardly ever going to be available in a legal market unless you think the prostituted have no rights to workplace protection.  The public is kept ignorant of the fact that the Nordic model is the only one that has proved effective in reducing sexual slavery, by drying up markets entirely.

I guess we have to make a judgement call here.  Are the rights of gay men to cruise and get a few bucks afterwards more important than the rights of women not to be sold into a life of constant rape?  Are the Belle Du Jours of the world really more important than the teenage girls groomed by pimps to go out and sell themselves on street corners?  Are the happy hookers the media shoves in our faces more important than the women who never have a voice?  Do we value human rights enough to tell some people that their right to make money doing whatever they want doesn’t come before the good of society in general?

Everywhere we turn in the media we are bombarded with this lowest-common denominator thinking.  Lower class women like myself are told it isn’t unjust if we have to be prostitutes in order to get educations where we are unlikely to get a job afterwards and even if we do will be paid less than our male colleagues.  We are told by people who are men, who love random sex with strangers, which they face none of the consequences physically that we have to contend with, that this is just what us girls like!  The classism and misogyny is so rife in these pieces its nauseating.

And some of these people have the gall to call themselves socialists…