Tag Archives: essentialism

“It’s Just Socialization….” Revisited

Since the last time I brought up the topic of men raping animals as proof that male sexual violence is not a result of socialization I’ve come across more info about the phenomenon of animal brothels.  There’s another petition that has been more widely circulated regarding the existence of brothels in Denmark where men can pay to rape dogs.  On Facebook there were even pictures included of animals that had died from being exposed to constant rape.  Another one of those grim dark images I’ll never be able to wash clean from my mind.  That I’ll carry in my soul as long as I live.

So like every time I’ve read about child pornography or the rape of infants, so too I am burdened with carrying this knowledge of what men do to the world around them.  

Now I had some dissent from my previous post on this subject and let me be clear about one thing;  I don’t think every man rapes animals or infants or children.  Some may even find it kind of disturbing.  But like with “regular” rape we have to look at this phenomenon through the eyes of protection and self preservation.

All men are potential rapists.  This is a widely accepted feminist theory.  We know that it is impossible to distinguish between the “nice cuddly guys” out there and the sadistic rapists.  Because of this women have to be on guard 24/7.  Every time I’m out in public I am on guard.  Every man is noted because every man is a potential threat to me as a woman.  We also know that women are more likely to experience rape from a man that they know.  Hey men are lazy, don’t forget that bit of essentialism.  So therefore logically we can deduce that women must be suspect of all men.  Not all women possess the power to read men’s minds so we cannot know for certain what thoughts men hold.  Even ones we have a laugh with and have done mutually supportive things with.  Women can’t distinguish between the man who rapes animals and infants and children vs the men who do not.  Again the onus is put on women to be able to tell the difference.  Let me tell you right now.  There is no test you can take for this stuff.  As one woman recently discovered her own boyfriend not only raped her dog but filmed it.  Of course she was shocked.  Its not as if this is something men brag about like I’ve said before and they don’t have special badges they wear so that we can decide not to talk to those men because they might stick their dicks in our pets.

So I throw this vein of thought into the same category as Schrödinger’s Rapist.  As it is impossible for women to tell the difference between a man who is kind and loving towards women, who would never disrespect a woman’s “no” and would certainly never force himself upon her so too it is impossible for women to tell the difference between a man who is kind, loving and protective towards animals and a man who in his private time pays to go into a brothel and choose out which sort of dog he fancies sticking his dick into or while his girlfriend is away, sticks his dick into her dog.  We have to assume that therefore that because all are a threat we need to take the proper precautions to protect our children and pets.

All the “nice men” in the world does not negate the fact that there are very un-nice men that we have to contend with.  That we are vulnerable to.  

As adult human beings, women have choices to make that effect those in our care, those who we have power over, like children and animals.  It’s utterly our responsibility to protect and ensure their safety because this not something men can be trusted to ensure.

Its time women took back whats been stolen from us.  Namely our power to protect and defend those we love.

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One of these things is not like the others

Biological essentialism is not gender essentialism and it is not biological determinism.

Or in plain speak – Believing that there are innate characteristics to both sexes is not the belief that the sexes are naturally inclined towards carrying out different roles in society and that one sex is therefore destined to dominate or be ruled by the other.

Yet when so many women hear talk about the fact that there is something about men which makes them act differently than women, something that exists outside of human social constructs altogether they immediately take up the charge of “gender essentialism” or “biological determinism”.  Now what “essentialist” radical feminist has ever in any way made the argument that men are destined to rule women?  Or that their system of patriarchy is natural?

These things don’t naturally lead into one another.

Most female animals organize their societies around females and their children.  The male animals are generally shoved to the periphery.  They are far less in number because they are not cared for by the female society (and you can sure as shit guess that the males aren’t taking care of each other).  The males that are on the edge interact with females for breeding purposes and in some cases act as a deterrent for other males of the species to come around.  The reason for this is that across the animal kingdom males are generally violent and destructive.  However there is no patriarchy among these animals.  They live in what is a female and child collective.  It is my belief as an “essentialist” that this is the natural order of things.  That patriarchy has taken men from the outskirts of society and thrust them into the center.  Turning the natural order of things on it’s head.

It makes sense that if males are inherently violent and destructive that patriarchy is therefore unnatural as they cannot be trusted to organize a decent society such is their lust for blood and destruction.

This does not mean I think women are immune to negative behavior, that they are incapable of horror.  But I seriously doubt any of the atrocities we as a species have witnessed throughout history would have happened if women were in the driver’s seat.

This also doesn’t mean I think men can’t bake cookies or sew, or like makeup and pink.  Confusing a biological understanding of male violence with a belief in the oppressive gender roles that have been thrust upon women since the dawn of history is just lazy thinking.  Confusing it with a belief that men are therefore naturally meant to rule over us is just absurd.

So much of women’s reality is hidden in plain sight.  We do not see the things that are right in front of us.  The distortions patriarchy levels have women chasing our metaphorical tails.  It is much easier to not see what is plain.  It is much easier to project humanity where there is none.  Project emotion where there is none.  This is how men are able so effectively to mindfuck women.  They can tell us to our faces (and often do) what they know they inherently are.  What they are capable of and we will argue with them until we are blue in the face that they are WRONG and that they’re really like us deep down.  They can openly treat their pursuit of women to fuck as sport and women will tell themselves that is not what is happening.  We have to, have to realize that our minds are not our own, that they’ve been accustomed to a lifetime of denying their own realities.

Radical Feminism requires that pursuit of women’s truth, women’s reality be primary.  As others have written before me, it requires us to follow our thoughts, no matter how scary, to their natural conclusions.

When I was a Marxist Feminist, a few years back I had this tendency to argue everything.  I had to be right.  I would argue with men about how they needed to change, how they were capable of so much more, how they denigrated themselves by being sexist.  I would have these blocks.  Like I wanted to go further but couldn’t.  Like I knew what I was arguing for was just bullshit.  But it was hard to let go of because of my own ego.  I had identity wrapped up in “not being like that”.  Meaning I wasn’t fucking crazy.  I was “reasonable”.  Basically I wanted men to validate that my feminist cause was just.  It took years to figure out that I didn’t need to argue anymore.  My cause needs no justification.  My boundaries need no justification.  My politics need no justification.  They simply are.  Real.  Elemental.

“It’s just socialization…”

I used to believe that male violence was merely a social phenomenon.  Like all things radical in thought, it took me awhile to come around to.  It couldn’t be true.  I’d known men who were sweet!  It was just an excuse for their behavior.  We had to hold them accountable!  Like all the comforting lies I’d told myself before about plain truths I would repeat these mantras, scoff in incredulity and refuse to see what was right in front of my eyes.  This changed over time.  I’m not really sure what the “click” was that brought me around to understanding that there was something biologically different about men.  Something that made them hunger for the degradation of life.  Something that made them delight in necrophilic destruction.

Coming to radical feminism is a process.  There is a process of deconstruction, of unlearning that has to take place.  Andrea Dworkin wrote that feminism requires precisely what patriarchy destroys in women.  Thus in order to begin the process of coming to feminism we stumble like babies beginning to walk.  Like taking the training wheels off of our bikes for the first time the process takes time for most women and also means a great deal of hardship.  I too cried over the male friends I lost.  I am slightly bemused at how pathetic that was at this time from this place I see now just what was lost was nothing more than parasites.

When I began to see the world in new eyes again everything shifted.  I would liken the experience to how when a person begins to meditate everything in their life gets worse.  My life got worse as I began to lift the veil.  I began having nightmares, visions.  I attracted all kinds of horrible patriarchal people (male and female) into my life that tortured me.  My health, or at least my illusion of health was stripped bare from my body and I was left crippled.  Literally.  I have lost most of my physical strength and struggle to walk now.

I began to lose women who were initially supportive of my journeying into radical thought.  I was going too far.  I was a bad feminist.  I was judgey.  Basically I was doing what they were unwilling to do.  Give up the addiction to men.  Live a life not based around getting men to change.  I didn’t say these things.  I didn’t even really think these things.  I was just going in the direction of what felt right.  They didn’t need to be said and it wouldn’t have mattered because where they were at they weren’t able to really tear off the veil and see the reality I was beginning to be immersed in.

Anyway somewhere along the way I realized I had to stop lying to myself about the male tendency towards oppressing women being merely a social phenomenon.  Its not as if what are called “essentialist” texts are widely available.  Its funny that that is the case when it is the plain obvious truth.  It doesn’t make money by selling women snake-oil and fairy tales though so what publisher is going to print it? 

This is all really just backdrop about where I’m at and coming from.  I understand if women aren’t there yet but I have faith that given enough honesty and soul searching they will be.  What I’m about to talk about now is very shocking and will probably hurt some of the more tender hearts in my reading audience.

My aunt, who loves animals, posted a petition on her facebook last week calling for the closure of orangutan brothels.  I don’t even recommend reading all of what is contained in the information about these brothels.  Its too disturbing.  What is clear to me is that no man has been socialized to rape animals yet they do with frequency.  Its considered a real taboo yet animal rescues are continually met with cases of men who infect dogs with venereal diseases and destroy their vaginas with continued rape.  Men also rape infants, small children and we supposedly look down on that as well.  Yet with frequency men are violating animals and children as well as adult women.  I can see so often that women are accustomed to not caring enough about themselves to see the danger in men and get away from it but I’m hoping that those of you in my audience who care about animals will at least admit there has been no great social engineering on the part of patriarchy to encourage men to rape animals.  If it is not socialization then that causes this phenomenon it is something else.  I argue that it is an inherent urge of men to stick their dicks into anything they can and all the “socialization” in the world and “raising our sons to be different” will not ebb the tide of men sticking their dicks into whatever animal, child or woman they can.