I’ve spent this summer in bed. My already sickly body subjected to further atrophy as I struggled to heal from a broken bone, stitches and nerve damage. I’m not there yet but I can now type a bit. I’ve had a lot of time to think and connect with the truth of my life.
We all have a life purpose. Its easy to forget at times because that is the nature of the reality we live in. Everything is structured to make us forget. I’ve been wandering from myself for a long time and even now its hard to face some days. The traumas, betrayals, abuse and horror I’ve lived through don’t really mean much to me anymore. They’re facts of my life like where I was born or what color my eyes are. What really began to make me crazy was realizing how conscious I was through most of it. I’m not saying this universally as a woman, I’m sure other women are unconscious of the disturbing ways in which they betray themselves and their sex but for me it was always a choice and living with that, reintegrating and forgiving myself for it has been a real challenge. The day I broke my arm this year I chose to go against my own intuition strongly telling me not to leave the house. Here I am, someone who tells women to trust their intuition above all else and getting smacked with some serious consequences for not following my own advice. Ironic.
As a radical feminist who happens to also be a mystic I’ve been trying to understand why my path has led here and I wanted to share it with all of you. Radical Feminism is spiritually about reclamation. We are seeking the total connection to our authentic female selves which have been waged war upon by men.
Mary Daly talked of herself as pirate. She saw herself usurping the usurpers, giving us back the tools to connect with our own divinity and power. This kind of stuff is important to me. Not because I think you need to be spiritual or identify with it to be on this path but because we can’t properly do anything for ourselves if we can’t act from that place of trust and power.
Men fear women’s power, this is why they go out of their way, despite having us almost completely enslaved as a caste to reinforce terror in us. This is why they beat, rape, mutilate and slaughter us. The funny thing about it is that we don’t even believe in that power that makes them so uneasy. Without believing in it we are more easily trapped by them. We need to stop reacting to them and behaving in ways that tell them we are concerned with what they think. Its time to reclaim our role as agents in our own destiny as a people. We need to imagine what we would be if patriarchy had never existed and become that. We must love and cling to one another as if we’d never been hurt by anyone. We must go into the world and shape it as if she were ours to act upon. There is no time like the present to embrace the dormant amazon within.