Monthly Archives: February 2014

Being Disagreeable is the Worst Thing a Woman Can Do

The other day on twitter a woman I follow shared the resolution the New Turns Feminism Conference passed to no-platform feminist writer and activist Julie Bindel.  In the resolution she was referred to as “vile”.  Now this is immediately not a professional or appropriate way to refer to a woman, regardless of how you feel about her.  It smacks of personal bias and not a legitimate excuse for no-platforming someone.  The same woman looked up the definition of vile and shared with us that one of the definitions for it was “disagreeable”.  How interesting!

Because yes, she is disagreeable to quite a few persons out there.  But being disagreeable is what feminism is about.  A disagreeable woman is a good thing.  That is unless of course you believe that it is a woman’s job to be agreeable.  This my dear readers is what I’d like to tackle today.

Third wave feminism/modern liberal feminism today has taken up the platform of promoting transgenderism.  It is considered to be the height of feminist activism.  Male transgenders are regularly given speaking arrangements, book deals and generally sought out as the go-to experts on feminism.  Julie Bindel was no-platformed because she takes a critical stance on the medical practice of transgenderism and follows the “old school” feminist understanding of gender being a social construct.  A harmful social construct which was created to designate women as inferior and subservient to men.  Because she takes this approach she is “disagreeable” and thus not welcome in any debate or discussion.

On my last post a woman in the comments section brought up that a good deal of the anger women receive for being against gender is that we are violating the gendered belief that women exist to have what she calls practical use.  Because Radical Feminists do not fulfill the male fantasy of woman as compassionately accommodating to every whim we are thus “vile” aka disagreeable.  This is why we consistently hear the charge of biological males making “better women than us”.  Of course.  Because in the misogynistic male imagination if a woman is not justifying her existence through being useful and accommodating to every male whim we aren’t actually women.  We’re an aberration.  We are wrong and need to be punished or just admit that we’re actually men or some such sexist shit.

There is no such thing as a man understanding what it feels like to be a woman.  It is the utmost of presumption.  What they are doing is projecting their beliefs about what being a woman is onto our entire sex.  When we do that which disrupts the fantasy.  Like say not being “compassionate” enough or not going along with anything without question we become “vile” and therefore silenced.

Modern liberal feminist projects like the New Turns Feminism Conference are participating in the silencing/punishing of women who do not conform to properly gendered behavior.  The feminist community really needs to have a big think about where all of this GGG agreeable stockholmed girlfriend shit is taking us because this certainly isn’t the feminism our foremothers fought for or most of us even signed up for.

Where Grown Man Meets Little Girl

Something that has consistently disturbed me since becoming familiar with the modern transgender phenomenon is how infantile most of the communication and dialogue around it is.  Oftentimes the propaganda put out looks like creepy little kids drawings or cartoons and they have references to genitalia, etc.

This is also a part of autogynephilic trans fetishism.  I found this website on feminization whereby grown men, often in middle age or older are put through humiliating ritualized feminization which is something actual little girls go through.  These men find erotic pleasure in imagining themselves as little girls going through sexual abuse and forced wearing of demeaning princess clothing.  What is a horrific experience of brutal dehumanization for women is a sexual kink for these men.

This phenomenon is also apparent with late transitioning heterosexual men.  They often will end dressing in the same clothes designed for teen girls.  Another thing that makes them stand out even more in a crowd.
This has often been justified by transgenderists as these men going through a second puberty as they get high on the hormones they’re putting into their bodies and going through the rush of strange feelings that come with said hormones.  However its more than that.  These men have an erotic attachment to the objectification of women and get off on the idea of themselves being the objects of the male gaze.

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“girls” can have penises too! Unfortunately the person who created this is an ADULT.

 

I’ve known all this for awhile but as time progresses

you start to see connections more and more closely, deeply.  The educational comics on transgenderism put out by younger M2Ts have the same creepy, girlhood appropriative vibe.

Another example that I came across recently is “Riley – the adult baby“.  Riley is a transgender male who spends the majority of his life pretending to be a female infant.  None of his imaginary play has anything to do with what its like to be an actual infant girl.  Its a weird creepy male projection of what he thinks female babies are like.  Notice in the video his coy flirtatious shit.  Men LOVE to pretend that is some kind of innate female characteristic and not a result of brutal socialization into a secondary sex role.

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Even the educational images like this have a disturbing childlike naivete to them.  They’re talking about heterosexual fucking causing pregnancy.  Color me SURPRISED!

The people creating these and disseminating them are for the most part adults.  There of course are some teenagers on tumblr sharing them but they aren’t coming from teenaged minds.

Now I wanna ask why its considered inappropriate and wrong for adult women to be creeped out by this and to not want to be around it?  Apart from the consistent sexism of associating womanhood with perpetual childhood, the references to little girls with penises is just nauseating and disturbing on a gut instinctual level.  It’s also becoming our reality as more and more children are being put through transition.  It reeks of sexual grooming and mental illness more than a political statement.

 

“It’s Just Socialization….” Revisited

Since the last time I brought up the topic of men raping animals as proof that male sexual violence is not a result of socialization I’ve come across more info about the phenomenon of animal brothels.  There’s another petition that has been more widely circulated regarding the existence of brothels in Denmark where men can pay to rape dogs.  On Facebook there were even pictures included of animals that had died from being exposed to constant rape.  Another one of those grim dark images I’ll never be able to wash clean from my mind.  That I’ll carry in my soul as long as I live.

So like every time I’ve read about child pornography or the rape of infants, so too I am burdened with carrying this knowledge of what men do to the world around them.  

Now I had some dissent from my previous post on this subject and let me be clear about one thing;  I don’t think every man rapes animals or infants or children.  Some may even find it kind of disturbing.  But like with “regular” rape we have to look at this phenomenon through the eyes of protection and self preservation.

All men are potential rapists.  This is a widely accepted feminist theory.  We know that it is impossible to distinguish between the “nice cuddly guys” out there and the sadistic rapists.  Because of this women have to be on guard 24/7.  Every time I’m out in public I am on guard.  Every man is noted because every man is a potential threat to me as a woman.  We also know that women are more likely to experience rape from a man that they know.  Hey men are lazy, don’t forget that bit of essentialism.  So therefore logically we can deduce that women must be suspect of all men.  Not all women possess the power to read men’s minds so we cannot know for certain what thoughts men hold.  Even ones we have a laugh with and have done mutually supportive things with.  Women can’t distinguish between the man who rapes animals and infants and children vs the men who do not.  Again the onus is put on women to be able to tell the difference.  Let me tell you right now.  There is no test you can take for this stuff.  As one woman recently discovered her own boyfriend not only raped her dog but filmed it.  Of course she was shocked.  Its not as if this is something men brag about like I’ve said before and they don’t have special badges they wear so that we can decide not to talk to those men because they might stick their dicks in our pets.

So I throw this vein of thought into the same category as Schrödinger’s Rapist.  As it is impossible for women to tell the difference between a man who is kind and loving towards women, who would never disrespect a woman’s “no” and would certainly never force himself upon her so too it is impossible for women to tell the difference between a man who is kind, loving and protective towards animals and a man who in his private time pays to go into a brothel and choose out which sort of dog he fancies sticking his dick into or while his girlfriend is away, sticks his dick into her dog.  We have to assume that therefore that because all are a threat we need to take the proper precautions to protect our children and pets.

All the “nice men” in the world does not negate the fact that there are very un-nice men that we have to contend with.  That we are vulnerable to.  

As adult human beings, women have choices to make that effect those in our care, those who we have power over, like children and animals.  It’s utterly our responsibility to protect and ensure their safety because this not something men can be trusted to ensure.

Its time women took back whats been stolen from us.  Namely our power to protect and defend those we love.

Are You a Western Feminist?

I’ve had the term “western feminist” rolling around in my brain for the past few weeks.  A young woman I follow on twitter was expressing disgust at a white man she knew who was a complete racist being in a relationship with another woman of color.  She expressed wanting to shake the woman and ask her what the fuck she was thinking dating a man who fetishes and disrespects women of her race (a reasonable desire I think) but knew it was just her “western feminist” self getting the better of her.  I questioned her about this but her answers didn’t seem that meaty.  She talked of it being wrong for women to want to “save” one another.  So in order to not come across like she knew better than this woman she would remain silent and feel bad about even having the thoughts she did.

Now I get the part about not wanting to come across as a “western savior”.  That white liberal complex is destructive and has no basis in real life struggle but I can’t agree that the anger she felt was wrong.  Feminism names the oppression of women as wrong.  Feminism makes bold statements about the rights of women.  It sees misogyny and it interrogates it, denounces it and works to abolish it.  There is no nuance when it comes to things which harm women.  We stand against it.  Regardless of where we are from.  If you don’t believe that the position of women worldwide being secondary and subservient to that of men is wrong you are not a feminist.

What I can make out is that what is thought of as “western feminism” is that feminism which makes definite declarations about women’s oppression being wrong.  Western feminists exist in every nation trying to pick up the pieces of all the fucked up things men do.  You too might be a western feminist.

Have we really come to the point where we’re unable to name things as inherently bad from a feminist lens without being derided as just oppressive first worlders?  Everywhere on earth women are dealing with the same rotten patriarchal deal.  There is nowhere where women have achieved any sort of equality with men that is tangible.  We’re all still subjected to their rule, their violence and their hatred.  

Its time we all take a stand boldly against it.

Its time we stopped viewing each other as “other” or “exotic” or being afraid of telling the truth about what men do to us.  Feminism offends sensibilities.  It isn’t polite dinner conversation and it isn’t trendy.  Its a movement for complete and total world revolution.  You’re going to offend people.  Might as well be the biggest most obnoxious know-it-all you can be.

One of these things is not like the others

Biological essentialism is not gender essentialism and it is not biological determinism.

Or in plain speak – Believing that there are innate characteristics to both sexes is not the belief that the sexes are naturally inclined towards carrying out different roles in society and that one sex is therefore destined to dominate or be ruled by the other.

Yet when so many women hear talk about the fact that there is something about men which makes them act differently than women, something that exists outside of human social constructs altogether they immediately take up the charge of “gender essentialism” or “biological determinism”.  Now what “essentialist” radical feminist has ever in any way made the argument that men are destined to rule women?  Or that their system of patriarchy is natural?

These things don’t naturally lead into one another.

Most female animals organize their societies around females and their children.  The male animals are generally shoved to the periphery.  They are far less in number because they are not cared for by the female society (and you can sure as shit guess that the males aren’t taking care of each other).  The males that are on the edge interact with females for breeding purposes and in some cases act as a deterrent for other males of the species to come around.  The reason for this is that across the animal kingdom males are generally violent and destructive.  However there is no patriarchy among these animals.  They live in what is a female and child collective.  It is my belief as an “essentialist” that this is the natural order of things.  That patriarchy has taken men from the outskirts of society and thrust them into the center.  Turning the natural order of things on it’s head.

It makes sense that if males are inherently violent and destructive that patriarchy is therefore unnatural as they cannot be trusted to organize a decent society such is their lust for blood and destruction.

This does not mean I think women are immune to negative behavior, that they are incapable of horror.  But I seriously doubt any of the atrocities we as a species have witnessed throughout history would have happened if women were in the driver’s seat.

This also doesn’t mean I think men can’t bake cookies or sew, or like makeup and pink.  Confusing a biological understanding of male violence with a belief in the oppressive gender roles that have been thrust upon women since the dawn of history is just lazy thinking.  Confusing it with a belief that men are therefore naturally meant to rule over us is just absurd.

So much of women’s reality is hidden in plain sight.  We do not see the things that are right in front of us.  The distortions patriarchy levels have women chasing our metaphorical tails.  It is much easier to not see what is plain.  It is much easier to project humanity where there is none.  Project emotion where there is none.  This is how men are able so effectively to mindfuck women.  They can tell us to our faces (and often do) what they know they inherently are.  What they are capable of and we will argue with them until we are blue in the face that they are WRONG and that they’re really like us deep down.  They can openly treat their pursuit of women to fuck as sport and women will tell themselves that is not what is happening.  We have to, have to realize that our minds are not our own, that they’ve been accustomed to a lifetime of denying their own realities.

Radical Feminism requires that pursuit of women’s truth, women’s reality be primary.  As others have written before me, it requires us to follow our thoughts, no matter how scary, to their natural conclusions.

When I was a Marxist Feminist, a few years back I had this tendency to argue everything.  I had to be right.  I would argue with men about how they needed to change, how they were capable of so much more, how they denigrated themselves by being sexist.  I would have these blocks.  Like I wanted to go further but couldn’t.  Like I knew what I was arguing for was just bullshit.  But it was hard to let go of because of my own ego.  I had identity wrapped up in “not being like that”.  Meaning I wasn’t fucking crazy.  I was “reasonable”.  Basically I wanted men to validate that my feminist cause was just.  It took years to figure out that I didn’t need to argue anymore.  My cause needs no justification.  My boundaries need no justification.  My politics need no justification.  They simply are.  Real.  Elemental.

“It’s just socialization…”

I used to believe that male violence was merely a social phenomenon.  Like all things radical in thought, it took me awhile to come around to.  It couldn’t be true.  I’d known men who were sweet!  It was just an excuse for their behavior.  We had to hold them accountable!  Like all the comforting lies I’d told myself before about plain truths I would repeat these mantras, scoff in incredulity and refuse to see what was right in front of my eyes.  This changed over time.  I’m not really sure what the “click” was that brought me around to understanding that there was something biologically different about men.  Something that made them hunger for the degradation of life.  Something that made them delight in necrophilic destruction.

Coming to radical feminism is a process.  There is a process of deconstruction, of unlearning that has to take place.  Andrea Dworkin wrote that feminism requires precisely what patriarchy destroys in women.  Thus in order to begin the process of coming to feminism we stumble like babies beginning to walk.  Like taking the training wheels off of our bikes for the first time the process takes time for most women and also means a great deal of hardship.  I too cried over the male friends I lost.  I am slightly bemused at how pathetic that was at this time from this place I see now just what was lost was nothing more than parasites.

When I began to see the world in new eyes again everything shifted.  I would liken the experience to how when a person begins to meditate everything in their life gets worse.  My life got worse as I began to lift the veil.  I began having nightmares, visions.  I attracted all kinds of horrible patriarchal people (male and female) into my life that tortured me.  My health, or at least my illusion of health was stripped bare from my body and I was left crippled.  Literally.  I have lost most of my physical strength and struggle to walk now.

I began to lose women who were initially supportive of my journeying into radical thought.  I was going too far.  I was a bad feminist.  I was judgey.  Basically I was doing what they were unwilling to do.  Give up the addiction to men.  Live a life not based around getting men to change.  I didn’t say these things.  I didn’t even really think these things.  I was just going in the direction of what felt right.  They didn’t need to be said and it wouldn’t have mattered because where they were at they weren’t able to really tear off the veil and see the reality I was beginning to be immersed in.

Anyway somewhere along the way I realized I had to stop lying to myself about the male tendency towards oppressing women being merely a social phenomenon.  Its not as if what are called “essentialist” texts are widely available.  Its funny that that is the case when it is the plain obvious truth.  It doesn’t make money by selling women snake-oil and fairy tales though so what publisher is going to print it? 

This is all really just backdrop about where I’m at and coming from.  I understand if women aren’t there yet but I have faith that given enough honesty and soul searching they will be.  What I’m about to talk about now is very shocking and will probably hurt some of the more tender hearts in my reading audience.

My aunt, who loves animals, posted a petition on her facebook last week calling for the closure of orangutan brothels.  I don’t even recommend reading all of what is contained in the information about these brothels.  Its too disturbing.  What is clear to me is that no man has been socialized to rape animals yet they do with frequency.  Its considered a real taboo yet animal rescues are continually met with cases of men who infect dogs with venereal diseases and destroy their vaginas with continued rape.  Men also rape infants, small children and we supposedly look down on that as well.  Yet with frequency men are violating animals and children as well as adult women.  I can see so often that women are accustomed to not caring enough about themselves to see the danger in men and get away from it but I’m hoping that those of you in my audience who care about animals will at least admit there has been no great social engineering on the part of patriarchy to encourage men to rape animals.  If it is not socialization then that causes this phenomenon it is something else.  I argue that it is an inherent urge of men to stick their dicks into anything they can and all the “socialization” in the world and “raising our sons to be different” will not ebb the tide of men sticking their dicks into whatever animal, child or woman they can.

Paris Lees – Another Male Perspective on Prostitution

I had the displeasure of coming across this piece by one Paris Lees who writes regularly for VICE.  Paris’ articles are generally the type of porn-brain addled lazy liberalism that passes for a radical critique in modern times.  His work is meant as propaganda and this piece is no different.  “Dear Slut-Shaming Haters, I Don’t Really Need an Excuse to Suck Dick“.  The title says it all.  Already the strawwoman has been built.  Ready to be teared down.  It reminded me of a piece he wrote recently on how he paid his way through uni by selling sex acts, all written in pornographic detail and his piece on “common slags in British politics“.  It is not hard to see reading these pieces that these are not written from a female perspective.  That the perspective on prostitution and how fun it is to have sex with random strangers and get “bonus money” for it is a distinctly dick-worshipping gay male perspective.  Not one any woman, no matter how much she “loves sex” adheres to.  This work is meant to titillate and have everyone with a mild libertarian streak (uh pretty much all westerners) nodding their head in bemused agreement.  Give the readers a little sexy racy fun and then hit them with some stats about how poor everyone is.  Look a man likes to have meaningless sex with strangers for money!  A man thinks prostitution is good fun for everyone involved!

I guess his previous post about selling sex acts, despite it’s porny references to men’s ejaculation wasn’t sex positive enough.  It probably gave people the impression that its kind of sad so many young people (and let’s remember the majority of these “people” are WOMEN, and not pretend ones either) are having to sell sex acts in order to get by, get ahead because there’s no real jobs available to them.  He doesn’t want us to have the impression that this isn’t a fun thing though.  Hence this follow up post.

What I found interesting on coming upon it was obviously the title.  Those people calling themselves “sex positive feminists” have a very clear and sickening agenda.  They want to portray prostitution, despite all evidence to the contrary as a liberating and empowering lifestyle choice that needs to be respected.  Now what we all can agree on is that people who are hateful towards, stigmatize and abuse prostituted women are scumbags and that in general we all should make every effort to be kind to the women stuck in this way of life, which any survivor will tell you is utterly horrible.  Whats being expected is not kindness or respect, its validation and participation in the normalization of what for the majority of women stuck in prostitution, is abuse.

These are his feelings about it: “As for men telling me not to “use that as an excuse for sucking cock” or to “justify being a hooker”, come on now. I don’t need an excuse. Just drop trou and I’m on it. I no more need to “justify” myself than bin collectors do.”

Because for Lees, like many other gay men.  Anytime you can get a bit of cock is a celebration.  Is this a female perspective?  Why is the perspective of a gay dude that likes having lots of random sex being put out there as if it were the female perspective at all?  This is consistently the case with most sex worker activist groups.  These gay men who would be fucking tons of random men regardless of whether or not they were paid for it are put forward as THE VOICE of the prostituted class.

The other thing that really got to me with this article was his bit about feeling shamed.  Not being shamed.  Because any feminist whose been accused of “slut shaming sex workers” knows the accusation is as baseless as anything else they come out with.  Now we must all curb our concern for those who are prostituted because they may FEEL shame.  “Concern or disapproval never helped me; never made my life better. It just annoyed me and made me feel like I was being judged.”  This says it all.  Shame is not something anyone can do to you.  Shame is an emotion one does to the self.  Humiliation is what others do to us.  Shame is the feeling we carry within.  Deep down anyone who feels shame, feels it because they know on some level what they have done is not in line with what they want.  This is one of the myriad of reasons why “slut shaming” as a concept is void.

We must remember that with men like Lees, boundaries are nonexistent.  Not only do they have no boundaries for what they will accept in their own lives.  It is VIOLATION to them for people to not see the world in the same way they do.  To not actively validate his beliefs is tantamount to violating his very boundaries.

He uses this opportunity then to launch into an attack on Julie Bindel, who he slanders as a “concern troll” who opposes “just about anyone doing just about anything with their own bodies”.  This is the typical tactic they have to do.  Portray someone like Bindel, when there are literally thousands out there appalled by Amnesty International’s recent behavior as a fuddy duddy whose really just “trolling”.  Because being concerned with the violation of human rights of the prostituted class is “trolling”.  You see Lees, who sees no problem with letting men on the train touch his fake tits and sucking the dicks of random strangers is really the sort of person who can understand where a woman involuntarily involved in prostitution is coming from.  Who is the real troll?

We’re then left with the kind of lazy outdated libertarian analysis about how its “wrong to ban prostitution” without acknowledgement of the fact that women like Bindel, like myself, like countless others support the Nordic Model for dealing with prostitution.  The public is kept ignorant of the fact that legalizing prostitution has done nothing but increase sex trafficking to legal markets, created larger black markets because of the amount of criminals, oh sorry I mean clients, seeking the kind of sex they want how they want it.  Which is hardly ever going to be available in a legal market unless you think the prostituted have no rights to workplace protection.  The public is kept ignorant of the fact that the Nordic model is the only one that has proved effective in reducing sexual slavery, by drying up markets entirely.

I guess we have to make a judgement call here.  Are the rights of gay men to cruise and get a few bucks afterwards more important than the rights of women not to be sold into a life of constant rape?  Are the Belle Du Jours of the world really more important than the teenage girls groomed by pimps to go out and sell themselves on street corners?  Are the happy hookers the media shoves in our faces more important than the women who never have a voice?  Do we value human rights enough to tell some people that their right to make money doing whatever they want doesn’t come before the good of society in general?

Everywhere we turn in the media we are bombarded with this lowest-common denominator thinking.  Lower class women like myself are told it isn’t unjust if we have to be prostitutes in order to get educations where we are unlikely to get a job afterwards and even if we do will be paid less than our male colleagues.  We are told by people who are men, who love random sex with strangers, which they face none of the consequences physically that we have to contend with, that this is just what us girls like!  The classism and misogyny is so rife in these pieces its nauseating.

And some of these people have the gall to call themselves socialists…