Are you a woman who has previously considered yourself heterosexual or perhaps maybe bisexual? Has that come into conflict with your feminist ideals? Are you catching yourself thinking more and more about how attractive other women are? Do you get jealous when your female friends who ‘aren’t quite there yet’ talk about their totally boring nigels? Do you kind of want to put your arm around another woman, play with her hair, smell her skin? You are not alone. You may in fact be going through what many of us already have.
If you’ve previously considered yourself a supporter of basic human rights for gay people you may find these feelings at odds with what you’ve previously been told about sexuality. You see, we’re told by most gay rights activists that sexuality is an inherent trait, that its something we’re born with. That it cannot change. This view of sexuality makes sense if you’re fighting crypto fascists for basic human dignity. It doesn’t make so much sense if you’re someone whose going through these feelings, yet haven’t before. Or not to the level you currently are.
You see, the big con in all of this understanding of sexuality is that heterosexuality is actually a learned behavior. It is not natural. At least not in the sense it exists institutionally today. In fact, it is the very conduit by which the global oppression of womankind is taking place. Each man gets to own his own woman, or group of women depending on local custom and enjoy what amounts to nothing but glorified prostitution and drudgery from them for as long as he wants/is convenient to him and the preservation of his precious male seed.
All of this is background stuff really. I want more to talk about this phenomenon. Yes, its a phenomenon. Political lesbianism pisses a lot of people off for various reasons but it is a real thing happening, it is something that feminists go through as a result of the awakening that our consciousness brings.
Theres a lot to shed. First off there’s the nigels. Shed those things, my god knock it off with the nigels already. They can’t and won’t ever change, you’re deluding yourself into thinking otherwise.
Secondly there’s the exposure to creepy male sexuality. If you were lucky enough to choose the man who would *deflower* you. I want you to think about your first sexual experiences. They were pretty good right? Up until he stuck his penis in you, right? You were having all manner of intense sexual feelings that then had to be sublimated into doing what he wanted, right? Then there’s all the porn shit men bring into sex. If you’re a woman reading this there’s no hope for nigel to not be porn sick. They’ve all been exposed to more porn than any generation before. Porn is everywhere, it is the air they breathe and it is the shit they act out on your body. That porn reel shit they have going on when they’re “making love” to you has an effect on your sexuality and psyche. You need to work on that. Its traumatic shit and you need to get it out of your system. I can’t recommend anything in specific. For some women, reading about stockholm syndrome helps, for some women mysticism helps, for others various forms of therapy, reflection, study, meditation all help to get that shit out of your body.
To do that you’re gonna need to give yourself time. Time to heal, time to really think about what it is you want, explore your feelings. That time should be spent in celibacy. Do not pursue relationships with other women until you have began doing this work. There’s enough trauma in this world, lets not inflict it on each other, ok?
So you’ve been doing all this stuff, rethinking your sexuality, reclaiming it, etc. You’re noticing intense feelings about some women you meet. You’re attracted to them. You start to remember little bits and pieces of your life you’d buried. Times before your feminism when you were attracted to women, when you had intense erotic moments with other women. You start to realize just how much you’d been repressing just so you could make it work with nigel.
That’s what I mean when I talk about political lesbianism. I don’t really feel the need to differentiate myself apart from other lesbians except when they’re attacking political lesbians. Because I am one. I chose to be a lesbian. I was bisexual for many years. Had relationships with other women but repressed a lot of my feelings, was scared of being a dyke. It took feminism to break that shit down for me. Make me realize how trauma-bonded I was to men and how it never worked with them because it could never work with them. This choice to love women is a positive affirmation of my desire. It wouldn’t have been possible for me without feminism.
I of course, am not the only one whose been through this. That is why the concept exists.
I also believe heterosexual relationships are inherently unequal. So whether you love women or not, please, love yourself. Dump your nigel.