Monthly Archives: February 2012

If it feels good

Women have a tendency to feel guilty about everything. This female guilt is a result of a lifetime of subordination, intimidation and socialization which trains women that in order to be loved we need to be pleasing, not take up too much space, not be a ‘bitch’, etc. So over our lifetimes we develop a tendency towards defensiveness when our choices (particularly our man-pleasing choices) are called into question.

I witnessed an interesting conversation between a few radical feminists in the past day, what transpired was a little disturbing for me as the convo took on a character of “confession time” where women were admitting all manner of non radfem-approved behaviors, sexual practices, etc. Bonding through how wicked we are as women, how typical.

The thing about pornography, sadomasochism, PIV, etc is that there is a physiological response to these things, its normal that women are “turned on” by them, thats what they’re intended to do. Female sexuality is completely constructed around this masochistic fantasizing and we internalize those ideas and often have physical responses to them.

So the conflict comes in for so many women where having these things “feel good” makes them feel bad about themselves, instead of angry at how they’ve been colonized by patriarchal sexuality.

Regardless, whether something “feels good” or not doesn’t make it good for you as an individual or for women generally. Being against these things is a political position one takes. It comes from an understanding of what these behaviors and practices signify, and how they shore up male supremacist society by our own compliance/consent.

Then the appropriate response is to feel bad about how those mean radical feminists are so anti fun. Of course!