Kowtowing vs Cooperating

dedgurlcingztheblooze has had a run of mental and creative energy running through her the past week.  She’s made many amazing blog entries that pose very interesting questions and if anyone reading this blog doesn’t read hers, please go there and check it out.

Her last post can be said to inspire this one, but I wouldn’t call it a response because I already practically typed a blog post in her comments…

When I think of kowtowing to dick I think of perhaps your typical sexpos feminist who aligns themselves more often with chauvinist men than other feminists because of perhaps their own unchallenged misogyny.  For example I think of a particular video on youtube which many sex pos feminists favorited which showed my face photoshopped onto a woman’s body being violently fucked doggy-style by a bald black man.  I’ve spoken somewhat openly about being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and I’ve alluded to having been raped as an adult but that isn’t enough for these women to in their crusade against me, support men attacking me in the most misogynistic of ways.  They are kowtowing to dick because thats what their sex positivism causes them to do.  They have to inevitably stand in some way against the survivors of male sexual violence because they support the type of sexuality which it is based on.

That is a sexuality where men are on top and women are there for one thing only, to have our identities completely consumed by men in the act of coitus.

Kowtowing to dick means that as a woman, you’re maintaining a man’s ego at the expense of other women.  That you’re validating his misogyny, his sexism, his bullying and blindness of his own privilege.  You’re not educating him, you’re enabling him.

What I put forward is cooperating with men.  Many men are our allies as feminists and those are the men who when challenged about their own socialization, their own privilege do not attack and bully and dismiss and gaslight the feminist(s) who they have a disagreement with.
Its a mans world but not all of them have it that easy.  Race, nationality, sexuality and economic class all play their part in keeping men down.  Many men are our allies and winning them over to supporting the feminist movement, and thereby their own liberation from masculinity is a necessity if we’re ever to move on to the important task of tearing this shit down.

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7 responses to “Kowtowing vs Cooperating

  1. “Kowtowing to dick means that as a woman, you’re maintaining a man’s ego at the expense of other women.” I can’t tell you how many women I have seen do this (outside of pro sex or sex positive people too). It’s linked to what women are socialized to be by the much of society. We are fed the idea that we have no worth apart from our man from fairy tales. =(

  2. I think the key term you used here was “their own unchallenged misogyny.”

    It’s so fucking true.

  3. “Kowtowing to dick means that as a woman, you’re maintaining a man’s ego at the expense of other women. That you’re validating his misogyny, his sexism, his bullying and blindness of his own privilege. You’re not educating him, you’re enabling him.”

    May i quote you on my FB? In my fave quotes?

  4. Who knew my little sentence to describe that excuse of a woman and her sidekick would foster so much thought?

    I’ve now put your blog in my reader so I can have access to it all the time.

    You know, women who think men are going to gently come into the feminist fold without an unchecked privilege are chasing their tails. I’ve started to see men who have been ‘accepted’ as feminists by anti-feminist women lashing out at these women.

    Real feminists don’t have such illusions.

  5. I’m really late, but this really spoke to me. I see it happen all the time and sometimes I struggle to explain exactly what’s going on, but you do it perfectly.

  6. What kind of feminists are these “sex positive feminists?” They are essentially saying that all feminists are NOT sex positive. Uh, just because a woman is a feminist does not mean she hates sex! What assholes they are to do that to you. These kowtowing women are clearly not feminists. These women are too weak and afraid to be REAL feminists! Good writing. Thanks for sharing.

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