killing of a flash girl – what happened

Hello everyone.  I had a bad night last night that resulted in me (very stupidly) deleting my new youtube account.  I think its best that I stop using youtube for awhile, at least until I can get the nuclearnight channel back up and running properly.  The stress of how intense things have gotten lately and the feelings of personal violation that resulted from my accounts being hacked haven’t really been resolved.  I need safer spaces to operate in right now while I try to recover my bearings.

I still desire to be creative and challenging to my fellow feminists and friends who I’ve met online.  I hope no one feels shitty that they supported me when I was hacked only to find that I deleted my account.  I wish I hadn’t now that I think about it but when I get like I do sometimes what seems like complete rationality doesn’t compute logically the next day.

I was fighting with my boyfriend as well and that just sent me over the edge.

I’m “okay” right now.  I’m not terribly depressed or anything, its just a general feeling of invasion and complete disregard that I’m going through.  I really appreciate all of you who I interact with and think of you as dear friends.


6 responses to “killing of a flash girl – what happened

  1. You know what? Everyone is now on my channel asking about you. Not that I care that they ask. I’m just saying that people are trolls and need their drama fix by hating.

    I’ve been thinking about backing out of all that shite too. There’s nobody really on YT that can have a sane dialogue minus a tiny tiny minority.

    It’s just gotten to the point where there’s no safety for feminists as individuals. Maybe there’s some sense in becoming a collective, no comments allowed on our COLLECTIVE videos. That way we’re more support oriented and less about individual shaming that occurs. Just a thought luv.

    I hope you’re feeling better. I figure YT was getting out of hand for you. For me as well.

    In solidad,


  2. I’m glad you are okay.

  3. Oh, you deleted it yourself. Well I’m glad it didn’t get taken away then. I assumed the flag happy people were doing something constructive with their time again. *Siiiigh…*

    I know you Miss E, Booboo, have to be exhausted at all the negativity aimed at you and, getting hacked is a step above all of it to me. That is definitely an invasion of your privacy for sure. And whoever did it, is a criminal in my eyes, straight up.

    I mean, it is going way…too…far.

    But I think a blog and videos here, if you want is best to tell you the truth because YT is not a safe platform in the least. Even my film page has to be moved at some point. I don’t want people knowing where I am then some imbalanced person flagging me to heaven b/c I wasn’t a big fat yes regarding whatever…

    I don’t want the whereabouts of the work to go through some flakes quicky revengeful fingers. But that right there, can’t do you or Miss E’s vids justice after a while either.

    But I am overjoyed to see ya came right back with another name. :::Smiling big.:::

    Still, do what makes you feel safest at this point.

  4. Hey, I was wondering where you went. I actually sent Ash, a rather panicked message on YT looking for you. I’m happy that it was you and not another hacker or flagger that got rid of your channel. I just get tired of the lack of control on that site when it comes to those things, and it depresses me to see people knocked off. Anywho, guess I best add this to my Brain Food page.

  5. truthvscompliance

    It’s really sad how so many people can’t just agree to disagree. What’s the deal with that? The way that they never just accept that, is really sad (and it totally reflects insecurity in their own views) – like they will stop at nothing until we “submit” (man, the parallels of all of this, sometimes makes things so obvious to me, I wonder how it is that so many other people are still so dumb to it). They’re like mosquitos – even when you swat em away, they keep coming back for more.
    I mean, that’s the only reason feminists with unpopular views are constantly being attacked. Notice the feminists who’s views conform to the popular views, are never harassed, flagged or hacked. I was just thinking about making vids and now I’m just like, damn – do I want to deal with that? Do I have the strength? Not so sure that I do.
    Anyway, I’ll be adding people to my blogroll as they move on over here. We should get Jedi over here to, might be nice for her to blog somewhere youtubers seem oblivious about.

    • I think the benefits of vlogging outweigh the negative aspects. But you DO have to be willing to put up with the fact that you will be hated and that people will go on campaigns of hate against you.

      I always console myself with the fact that I know I’m more active and have more of an impact on the world around me in a positive way than my detractors will ever be able to say.

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